I found my first gray hair last night. Before I took a shower, I pulled my hair down from its perpetual bun and combed through my tangled hair with my fingers. (I'm a mama! I can't wear my hair down lest it be yanked on by my boy's sticky little hands!)
But alas, there it was, glistening in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. I almost mistook it for a blonde hair, but oh no, there it was doing a little gray hair dance; shorter than my other hair and very thin. I was simultaneously terrified and giddy. In the end, I decided to celebrate. After my shower and a new bun for my now-graying-hair, I marched upstairs and called everyone into the living room. I made my husband and in-laws gather under a lamp by the green armchair my father-in-law was sitting in. I ordered them all to lean in so that I could announce my findings. I slowly unfolded a dark piece of paper with my trophy of silver lying there for all to see. I trumpeted, 'I found my first gray hair, everyone!" They all laughed and welcomed me to the club and I felt so proud. My husband teased me that he found his first gray hair a decade ago (he rocks that salt-and-peppery look so well), but last night felt like a rite of passage for me for some reason.
I jokingly blamed it on my son/being a new mom. I know a large part of it has to do with genetics and possibly stress, but for some reason it made me feel like I have suddenly emerged into a new level of adulthood.
Recently, my husband and I have really been finding that as much as we miss the independence of being young 20-somethings with the freedom to stay out late, spend money a little more freely, and put our social lives at the forefront of our priorities, we're coming to really love our 'new lives' as parents. We really are cherishing the early bedtimes curled up in bed together watching a favorite show, making Emmett laugh as hard as we can and watching him grow and learn, cuddling with our son on Sunday afternoons, and most importantly, learning to put family first. It feels pretty remarkable to see that gray hair and know it's not a reflection of me being an old haggard mom, but rather a beautiful sign of a life I've grown into and have come to truly love.